“Tebowing”… soooo 2011. “Griffining”… soooo 2012. 2014 is the year of “LeBroning.” It’s what all the crazy kids are doing on Vine nowadays. LeBron James, aka the face and identity of the NBA is known to exaggerate his body in order to get a foul called, otherwise known as “flopping.”
Flopping- The art of de-masculating yourself and contorting your body in such ways to gain attention of the referee in the hopes of getting a foul called against your opponent.
Teenagers and pathetic adults have taken to the popular social media platform, Vine, to post their own renditions of “LeBroning.” Forgive the piss-poor YouTube clip, but you should get the picture. If the YouTube post doesn’t do the art of “LeBroning” any justice search Twitter or Vine under the hashtag #LeBroning and you’ll get it.
Today marks a monumental day in history as citizens of the United States anxiously await who will be elected their new leader. After several heated debates and ferocious campaigning, a winner will be chosen tonight between current president Barack Obama and Republican Party hopeful, Mitt Romney.
Have you ever been curious as to who some of your favorite athletes might support? We’ve provided a few of them to help give you a better idea.
Blake Griffin appeared this week on Conanand discussed some of the new features of the upcoming NBA 2K13. Griffin also revealed the Clippers secret weapon for the 2013 season, Conan O’Brien himself. Griffin shows a clip where Conan was inserted into the game setting him up for a monster alley-oop Sadly, CoCo might not have been such a secret because in the next clip he’s show in Celtics uniform draining a three.
It’s not very often that Jim Rome allows any form of reverse psychology to work on him. Today, that happened, as NBA commissioner David Stern fired back at Rome’s famously edgy questioning. Rome broached the subject of the possibility of the NBA Draft Lottery being rigged. The New Orleans Hornets were awarded the No. 1 overall pick when the odds were heavily favored for the NBA-worst, Charlotte Bobcats. It just so happens that the New Orleans Hornets are also owned by the NBA, which raises more questions to the fishy “lottery” selection.
When Rome raised the question, a bothered David Stern threw a blow that not even Rome saw coming. Stern casually asked Rome “Have you stopped beating your wife?” An obviously offended and wounded Jim Rome immediately fires back questioning the motive of the commish.
In Rome’s defense, what David Stern said today is completely out of line. Anybody that is aware of the style of Jim Rome’s interviews should expect some curve balls and they should be intelligent enough to foul them off. For an authority figure that swings as heavy as a hammer that David Stern does, he should have exercised better judgement. If there is no apology issued by Stern in the near future, this statement might very well define the legacy (or lack-there-of) he holds as commissioner of the NBA. Take a listen for yourself and feel the awkward conversation.
In an interesting segment of ESPN’s Around The Horn, called Behind The Horn, sportswriter and analyst J.A Adande candidly tells a funny story of an encounter between LA Times writer and fellow Around The Horn analyst Bill Plaschke and Kobe Bryant.
In Carmelo Anthony’s return to the Knicks starting lineup, thins got a little tense in the locker room with overnight sensation Jeremy Lin. Not really, but this is still worth the share and should at least warrant a little laughter.
Note from the author: Guest Writer- Emilio Gladstone
All apologies for the hiatus, sports fans; the real world has occupied much of my time lately. Before I get started on my latest rant, I’d like to remind everyone that we are now in the midst of the season of giving. With that in mind, I invite you to pass on your thoughts on “What Chaps My Taffy” and the topics we have covered in our first few articles. You can send me topics you’d like to see me cover, your own rants, or just general thoughts about me (ad hominem attacks welcome) and my viewpoint of the world of sports. My email address is emiliogladstone@gmail.com, and I look forward to keeping warm this winter by printing out your emails and burning them to piss off some dirty hippies.
Less than a month ago, I was celebrating the fact that the NBA season would be cancelled this year. I wouldn’t have to put up with 8 months of nonexistent defense, mugging at the camera after a dunk trying to look “hard”, and hideous suits after games at press conferences. Alas, my dreams were crushed as the horribly nasal voice of David Stern wheedled its way into the ears of the representatives of the NBA Players’ Association and they capitulated to the owners, ending the lockout. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy basketball. I enjoy going out and playing a pickup game (though I haven’t done it in a couple of years as I am currently doing my best to get fat), and March is one of my favorite times of the year as the Madness of the NCAA tourney envelopes me. But, sports fan though I am, I cannot embrace the National Basketball Association.
Following sports, especially at the professional level, you come to expect big egos and ridiculously over-inflated self-worth from the athletes. They are men at the peak of their physical prowess who are gifted beyond belief. They have been told their entire lives that they are the greatest things to happen since Jesus turned water into wine and made that wedding a kick-ass party. It just seems that the egos in the NBA have warped beyond all other pro athletes. It is so pervasive among the players that when a seemingly humble player (i.e. Kevin Durant and Stephen Curry) comes along, they are the exception rather than the rule. I hate the basketball highlights as players who make a routine layup or easy dunk celebrate as if they just rescued a kitten from a tree even if their team is down by thirty points.
Which brings me to my next point: what happened to the sense of team in the NBA? I think back to when I was growing up, even the Chicago Bulls of the glory years, and it wasn’t just Jordan. Yes, he was the focal point, but I can name plenty of others on the team: Scottie Pippin, Tony Kukoc, Dennis Rodman, Steve Kerr, Horace Grant, and even Luc Longley just off the top of my head. And Jordan took a pay cut at one point to bring in the pieces around him. Beyond James, Wade, and Bosh, I can’t name another player on the Miami Heat right now and those three all have max contracts or damn close. I am picking on the Heat right now because I am sick of hearing about them. They have continued this new trend in the league to form “super teams.”
It really started with Boston’s “Big Three” of Garnett, Allen, and Pierce a few years ago, but the Heat are the ones that epitomize this disease. Superstar players are now demanding trades to form these powerhouses. Carmelo Anthony last year followed by Chris Paul and Dwight Howard recently are perfect examples of this. At least Lebron and Bosh waited until they were free agents. If this trend continues, the NBA may as well eliminate teams and contract down to the few with all of the talent and not subject us to such a long season. The national media will only cover these teams anyway as the gap between the big market teams that can afford the top players and the small market teams that can’t widens each year. Just go straight to the playoffs, David Stern, and quit chapping my taffy. We already know who will end up there…
Poor Greg Oden, can’t manage to stay healthy long enough to average more than 5 buckets a game, now the poor guy is so irrelevant he can’t even get recognized on the street. Last night, Oden was mistaken for LeBron James by a camera man. To Oden’s defense, this camera man is clearly not a sports fan. The fact that he can’t make out the NBA’s Benjamin Button, is insulting enough. Best of luck to you Greg while you are rehabbing your knee this offseason, add your ego to the rehab list while you’re at it.
We would also recommend to everybody to please visit Greg Oden’s website. You’re guaranteed a solid laugh within 3 seconds. Make your that you can hear the background song.
The Meat Locker Sports 
