“Jeah”… Somebody Actually Gave Ryan Lochte His Own TV Show

Ryan Lochte, What Would Ryan Lochte Do, Jeah

Check it, bros. Your favorite bro, Ryan Lochte just landed his own reality show, set to debut on E! called “What Would Ryan Lochte Do?” What is our world coming to? We’re all being force-fed a fat little redneck kid with her slob mother, Snooki, and now Ryan Lochte. If this pace keeps up, we’ll officially be challenging the French for dominance in world idiocy.

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Ryan Lochte: Great Swimmer, BAD Interviewer

It’s a good thing Ryan Lochte can swim his ass off, otherwise the guy would most likely be thrown to the wolves for this collection of interview clips. It’s a wonder that this guy even has a driver’s license. Lochte’s world could quite possibly come crashing down when he retires from swimming. It’s a big scary world out there Ryan, there’s counting change, reading restaurant menus, taxes, and crossing streets. Lucky for you, surely there are plenty of ladies out there that would be willing to be your personal assistant.

 

Another Reason The French Suck, Their Male Athletes Have “Tramp Stamps”

It’s hard enough that we have to stomach that Michael Phelps is no longer the gold medal machine that he was in 2008, but we have to deal with the fact that we were defeated by the French. We will say this though, at least our mens team can hold their heads high knowing that they don’t have tramp stamps, like the douchey French. You keep your gold medal chumps, we’ll keep our pride.