Brian Wilson Will Only Go Where His Beard Is Welcome

Brian Wilson

New York Yankees fans can count out any hopes that major league baseball’s bearded wonder, Brian Wilson will be landing in the Big Apple. According to Yankees beat writer, Bryan Hoch, Wilson will not entertain any offers from clubs that have facial hair rules.

Brian Wilson, Beard

After bouncing back from Tommy John surgery in 2012, Wilson spent last season with the Los Angeles Dodgers and helped anchor the back-end of a shaky bullpen. Wilson pitched 30 innings for the Dodgers last season with one save, a 5.40 ERA and 4 holds. Moderate numbers for the once dominating closer as he looks to regain his former dominance.

Wilson’s beard and unexplainable antics have managed to keep him relevant, even after he was out of the game for a nearly a whole year. Wilson knows that his beard is his golden ticket to continued endorsement opportunities, TV time and appearances on crappy blogs like this one. Wilson is playing it smart and grasping onto his money-maker, because you can’t throw baseballs 90+ mph your whole life. Expect Wilson to draw some attention from the Boston Red Sox, at least we know they’re equal facial hair opportunity employers.

 

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Pirates Rookie Pitcher Gerrit Cole Has 5 Wins On The Year, And One Eaten Boogie

Gerrit Cole, Pirates, Eats Booger

Rookie pitcher Gerrit Cole has notched a pretty solid year thus far for the Pittsburgh Pirates. Cole is 5-4 on the year and added one more accomplishment to his young career. An eaten booger. Cole was caught in the dugout on Sunday in between innings digging for gold and munching down on his prized find. Gross. Probably the last thing anybody wants to be caught on camera doing. Surely he’s catching hell this morning by his teammates, and understandably so.

Mets Ace Matt Harvey Dupes Fans On The Street

Matt Harvey, Mets, Jimmy FallonIf this video has gone so viral and you’ve already seen it ten times today, then apologies are sent your way. If you haven’t seen it, then you’re welcome. Jimmy Fallon sent Mets ace Matt Harvey out on the streets of New York to ask Mets fans about, well, Matt Harvey. Some are able to recognize him, some aren’t and the candid reactions are pretty priceless. Harvey deserves a lot of the credit as his comedic delivery is almost as impressive as his delivery on the mound. Harvey will take the mound tonight, starting his first all-star game for the National League at 8:00 on Fox.

In his first full season, the University of North Carolina product is 7-2 with 147 strikeouts and a 2.35 ERA.

Munenori Kawasaki: A History Of Dance

Munenori KawasakiIf you read the blog then you already know the affinity that I have for Blue Jays shortstop Munenori Kawasaki. If you don’t read the blog, then today is your reckoning and all is forgiven.

Kawasaki keeps popping up and making it worth my while to share what I find. Kawasaki is known for his fun personality and what he brings to the ball park everyday. He just has fun, whether he’s being made fun of or trying to get a few laughs. This recent video just surfaced of Kawasaki celebrating with a victory dance on the team plane. After a little research, I came to realize that Kawasaki is a dancing fool.

That being said, enjoy Munenori Kawasaki’s history of dance over the years. Enjoy while you can because starting shortstop Jose Reyes was activated from the disabled list and we may see a possible demotion for the Blue Jays funny man, or at the very least a severe reduction in playing time.

New Josh Hamilton/C.J. Wilson Commercial Is A Good Reflection Of Their Seasons

C.J. Wilson, Josh Hamilton Commercial

Money sure does buy a lot, but nobody said it bought good advertising. Just ask Angels money men C.J. Wilson and Josh Hamilton, the stars of the latest Head and Shoulders/Old Spice commercial. It’s so bad, you may not be able to stomach the entire seventeen seconds.

Wilson was inked to a 5-year 75 million dollar deal just prior to the 2012 season. In his first season with the Angels, Wilson posted a 13-10 season, with a 3.83 ERA. In 2013, Wilson isn’t fairing much better. He’s off to a 5-5 start and a 3.90 ERA.

Hamilton signed a 5-year 125 million dollar deal before the 2013 season. Hamilton is batting .213 with 10 home runs and 24 RBI’s.

Needless to say, this kind of keesh shouldn’t produce such mediocrity. Maybe the boys need to step away from the camera and take a few extra hacks at BP.

 

 

Evan Gattis Can Almost Hit A Baseball Harder Than The Sandlot’s Scott Smalls

Evan Gattis, Rosin, Home Run

We all know what Scotty Smalls did to the signed Babe Ruth baseball in the cult classic, The Sandlot. If you don’t know what scene I’m talking about, shame on you. The scrappy backyard baseball squad he was a part of was in need of another ball, so Smalls ventured into his Step dad’s trophy room and grabbed his prized signed Babe Ruth baseball and actually brought it onto the field of play. If Smalls did anything else but what I’m about to describe then he’d be remembered as a huge jackass that wore an oversized hat with a bass on it.

Pitcher, Kenny DeNuzez threw the heater, right down the pipe and Smalls punished it, sending it over the fence right into the mouth of the junkyard guardian known as “The Beast.”

Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez described Smalls’ mammoth shot as “busting the guts” right out of the baseball. Because that precisely what Scotty did. He hit the ball so F-ing hard that the laces broke loose and the insides of the ball were unmercifully knocked out.

We haven’t seen such a shot for over twenty years. Until we all woke up this morning and saw the highlight reel…

Last night, Atlanta Braves breakout stud Evan Gattis gave Scotty Smalls a run for his money. Gattis smacked a ball so hard, the rosin was literally seen clouded off the baseball and knocked right off. That’s quite the beastly hack. Gattis has broken onto the scene this season after living a pretty crazy life prior to becoming a pro ball player.

Gattis abandoned a scholarship from Texas A&M after high school and instead chose to wander and live a Christopher McCandless-esque life. Gattis worked odd jobs ranging from a pizza parlor, ski-lift operator and even janitor. After sewing some wild oats, Gattis returned to baseball and was drafted in the 23rd round of the 2010 MLB Draft by the Atlanta Braves. Gattis worked his way up through the minors and cracked the opening day lineup for the Bravos. Since then Gattis has amassed a .263 batting average with 14 home runs and 37 RBI’s in 50 games.

However in this round, the advantage goes to Smalls, as I have personally never seen a ball hit so hard, but don’t be surprised before the career of Evan Gattis is over that he challenges this famous feat.

 

Evan Gattis Smacks The Rosin Off A Baseball (Click Photo)

Evan Gattis, Rosin, Home Run

 

In Minute 1:06 Scotty Smalls “Busts The Guts” Out Of A Baseball

No Need For Translation, Jays IF Munenori Kawasaki Is Hilarious

Munenori Kawasaki, Blue JaysFor those who weren’t force fed this awesome clip on SportsCenter already, hopefully this can provide a little laughter. After delivering the game winning hit yesterday against the Baltimore Orioles and struggling closer Jim Johnson, Blue Jays utility infielder Munenori Kawasaki delivered an interview for the ages. Teammate Mark DeRosa brought Kawasaki, the hero of the game, into his interview and Kawasaki proudly proclaims his homeland and his nationality.

Kawasaki is quickly becoming a fan favorite in Toronto for his hilarity and while doing an honorable job at shortstop, filling in for the injured Jose Reyes. Kawasaki has stolen six bases and is hitting .247 with 14 runs driven in. As long as Kawasaki is on the field, you’re guaranteed entertainment and the price of admission.